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AITA for telling my friend she might be the reason her relationships don’t work?

Somnath Gandotra, April 28, 2026

I (M) have a close friend (22F) who’s always talking about how scared she is of being alone and how badly she wants real love. I genuinely feel for her, and I’ve tried to be there whenever she needs to vent.

But I’ve noticed a pattern. She meets someone, gets attached really fast, things move quickly (emotionally and physically), and then suddenly she loses interest or pulls away. After that, she’s heartbroken, crying, saying she got hurt again, and the whole cycle repeats.

After seeing this happen a few times, I gently told her that maybe it’s not always just the guys and maybe she’s rushing into things and then backing out when it gets real. I said it seems like she wants love but struggles when she actually has it.

She didn’t take it well at all and said I was judging her instead of supporting her. Now things between us are kind of awkward.

I didn’t say it to hurt her; it’s just because I care and it’s hard watching this happen again and again.

AITA?

Whenever I try to point this out, she shifts into saying things like “you wouldn’t understand what I’m going through” or brings up other problems in her life, and it turns into her being the victim of everything.

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